Living Loved

Today's truth is speaking to me... I really like the author's use of the phrase "identity security."  I just wrote about often feeling insecure and finding security in God.  With this new reading, I have deepened my understanding of identity and security.  I always want to be happy with who I am, to not hide my true self from people, to not rely on what others think of me to feel good about myself.  With repeated worry that people won't accept me, I need to come to God often and consistently and embrace His love for me.  Being aware of God's extravagant outpouring of love for me leads to confidence in my identity in Christ.  If my sole dependence is one God's love, I can tackle life's situations with steadiness and inner peace.

God is asking me to... not label myself or others, other than as worthy and lovable children of God.  I feel called to not believe harmful labels--- not to internalize or perpetuate negative beliefs, whether they are directed toward myself or others.  I want to always remember people's true identities even when other labels tempt us to forget.

My challenge is to... replace thoughts of unworthiness and judgment with reminders of God's true love for myself and for others.  Identify people as lovable, as God's children.  Allow God to hold me, nourish me, provide for me, and love me as an ultimate parent.  Develop my ability to be loved by God and to love as God loves.

Follow the Leader

Today's truth is speaking to me... As Simon was unexpectedly blessed by following Jeus' directives, so too will I be if I obey God's will.  It seems unnatural at times to give up ourselves and submit to Jesus' ways, but He will help us if only we ask.

God is asking me to... come and follow. But first I must focus on coming, as that is the initial step.  I cannot jump ahead to a far-off part of the following stage without first developing a relationship with God.  For example, while I feel as though religious life is how God wants me to follow him, I am not called to enter an order within the next few weeks.  I believe that right now, God wants me to follow Him by coming to Him in prayer, Scripture, and sacraments.

My challenge is to... Find security in Him.  To repeatedly ask God to take away my dependence on what others think and what I perceive others to think of me.  While decreasing my feelings of insecurity, I also challenge myself to look for true support through faith communities, such as our wonderful small group.

The Miracle of a New Heart

Today's truth is speaking to me: I love that God offers us a new heart on a daily basis. Of course, it takes time to transform a heart, but each day we can choose to open our hearts to God's healing and development, allowing Him to enter more fully into the center of our being.  God created our hearts and knows what we deeply desire.  So why not let Him enter in and fill our hearts with what we long for-- Himself and the peace of following His plan?

God is asking me to: not base my self-worth on performance and others' approval but on God's love.  Be open to God at all times.  Be patient with others and with myself.  Don't be afraid to engage in deep and meaningful conversations with God, others, and myself.

My challenge is to: listen more and to be clear and direct with my words, allowing God to speak through me.  I am striving not to be as easily influenced by everything I hear but by God's word alone.  Along with this goal comes the desire to decipher God's voice from those of the world.  He speaks through people, yet so does the devil.  A revelation came to me today: if I truly die to myself, I won't be so self-conscious about things--- especially about speaking of my prayer and faith life.  My challenge is to be Christ-conscious: being aware of His presence and of how He is calling me to handle situations.

Part One: Faith Tests

Lately I have been questioning why bad things happen and even wondering if my faith is a delusion.  Pretty sad, right?  But then again, such thinking is exactly the sort of test that matures one's faith.  When I look at my questions and find answers, I can respond to others' skepticism and doubts.  I looked at part of a discernment packet about deciphering whether or not something comes from our own wants or from the Lord.  I have not been forced into a relationship with God and am not doing so with my wants in mind.  I have been guided by the Spirit to give myself fully to God out of love for Him and humanity.

Part One: Faith Defined

I know that when I put faith in things before faith in God, I become frustrated and disconnected from God and others.  When my first priority is to seek approval and understanding from others, my expectations fall short and I am left feeling undesirable and wronged.  Often, I am upset with God--- or more accurately, I am disappointed in my efforts to relate to God.  So, instead of dealing with the issue at hand and chatting with the Lord, I find myself hiding out and looking for fulfillment outside of prayer.  I like what Alsdorf, the author, has to say about constantly realigning her thoughts, speech, and attitudes.  I am also tired of dead faith--- thinking of growing with God and not following through.  The first thing I want to do in times of decision-making, trial, and celebration is turn to the Lord.  Faith, to me, is following through in coming before Jesus and trusting in His ways through thick and thin, through joy and persecution.

Where I'm At

A few days ago when we were supposed to start the Faith Dare, I went to the weekly Wednesday night T.E.C. (Teens Encounter Christ) mass.  During his homily, Deacon Rob acted as Joseph, Mary's husband and Jesus' foster father, giving us a look at this biblical character's perspective on events.  There were parts of the talk where Deacon Rob specifically looked at me and made a point that his words were directed at me. He knows that I feel called to religious life and has been nudging me to consider this path.  Am I grateful for his outreach?  I should be.  So why is it so hard for me to accept such deeds as his?  Why do I shrink away from moments of addressing my discernment and feel disconnected?  Answer: I am still frightened of holiness, of fulfilling my purpose, of glorifying God in living out His plan for me.  It's natural to fear the future, the new, and the unknown.  When we are open to taking consistent baby steps of making acquaintances, however, and we progress.  I am thankful for this Faith Dare, which will help me to respond to Jesus' invitation to know him more deeply, day by day.

Introducing Faith Dare

I have always loved the idea of a group of people coming together for something greater than themselves.  I love that the author talks about powering down form "self" and restarting in the power of the Holy Spirit.  I can definitely relate to her surrender to God once she reached a low point in her life.  It reminds me of the lyrics to a Christian song: "Maybe that's the point, to reach the point of giving up. 'Cause when I'm finally at rock bottom, that's when I start looking up, and reaching out."  The author, Alsdorf, mentions embracing the deserts and valleys and not letting circumstances define us.  This resonates with 33 Days to Morning Glory, in which Mother Teresa says that dark moments are when we are close to Christ crucified.  These low times equip us to console His Heart.  Putting our trust in God and Mary truly makes circumstances less influential on our spirits--- we possess a deep joy in knowing our Lord and we cannot be shaken.